MEXICO IN REVERSE

So we have had our car for two weeks now.I mean its a good ,often great car except for one minor thing.Actually two if you count it not been registed.
At the start we had a little problem with the transmission,it just would'nt go into top gear properly.The only thing that fixed it was to add more transmission fluid.Once we had done this it was smooth sailing but every morning before our journey we just put more in.I knew that this would'nt be so good for the car,overflowing it with too much fluid,but it was the only way we could drive faster than 60kms per hour and that didnt seem like it would be too much fun.
So in the morning we would be cursing the poor car by saying things such as "this is the biggest shit box ever" and so on.Then once we had topped it up and got going it would change to"oh yeah,what a fine car,good car this one".So if this car had feelings and listened to me then it would be one mixed up little bugger.
Now four days ago things started to gradually get worse.We would top up,start up,put it into drive and then....... nothing.Oh oh.But suddenly clank and into gear she goes"fukn good car this".
Everyday it would take longer to go into gear,but once going it was fine.There were people asking why we were just sitting around."mate our car doesnt go forwards,you have to wait until it is ready", this caused a few minor traffic problems as we would reverse out somewhere then have to sit and wait up to ten minutes to go forward.
Once in escondido it was allmost completely stuffed.Our first trip in reverse then took place,to haot to walk we dorve up the main drage backwards and gained some great looks and laughs.
Ous friends at the hosel thought we were hilarious driving backwards so we grabbed some beer and offered them a tous calling it "mexico in reverse",we drove about three km's backwards to the point,doors open,beers eveywhere and a carload of people sitting backwards,it made for quite a funny arvo.
Yesterday we decided to take it into the mechanics,after 15 minutes we got it going forward and found a transmission mechanic,they were at lunch and said come back in an hour.So i got on the net,wasted an hour then went to drive back and guess what,no forward gears.So i proceeded to reverse througfh town to his shop.Once there he said come back tommorrow and he'll check it out.We said ok and went to leave.After 10 minutes of been stationary waiting for gears,us laughing and the little mexican mechanics laughing at us,they finally came over and said just leave it here.
So we have a car that only goes backwards,attracts a lot of attention but most importantly makes people smile and think that all aussies are crazy (steve irwin is also well known everywhere i go)
So later today we find out the damage.There is no doubt we will be ripped off but if it's too expensive we will just leave it with them for maybe some beers,ha ha,and start backpacking.
Either that or drive backwards all the way.

BAREFOOT BUT NOT PREGNANT

So the ozzy barefoot tradition continues around the world.
In three weeks of being here we counted only two other people walking around barefoot.We get some great looks wearing no shoes and i think people think of us as white trash for not wearing shoes.Brockie had a good incedent the other day.We were getting petrol and he opened the back door to grab something.Here the beer bottles are bigger than the ol ozzy longneck and are made of thicker glass to last.You take you bottles back for a deposit each time as they then re-use them many times so they must be made tuff to last.
Our car has about 7 of these bottle in the back at any given time and when driving they move around.So im sure you know what happens next.Brockie opens the door not looking and a big boy drops out and smashes making a huge noise.Being another barefooted brother he gets quite a good gash on his underfoot and it bleeds heaps.Once again we are ceter of attention as the blood makes a good mess.Hes all good tho as the next day we superglued the gash,i had never tried this but it certainly did work.
But yesterday we met another barefoot ozzy,shes a crazy chick from sydney and that night was monday which turns out to be the biggest night for partying in escondido.I was stoked to go out to a huge party pub in barefeet and no one cared.It was a massive night with me sampelling some local cocktails,all sorts of colors and all kinds of tastes.Ended up doing the wobbly walk home and stubbed my toe,ha ha.
Brockie dissapeared heaps earlier wasted,he climbed the gate to ou hostel the climbed again through a window cos he was too drunk to remember where we stashed the keys.Yet another big night.
So now my feet has grown a new sole to deal with the hot ground,yeee ha,there i save another ten bucks on thongs.They are dear here and i have allready lost two pairs so barefoot it will be.

THE V-DUB PHENOMENON

When we first arrived in mexico i taught brockie the punch buggy game as i do on most road trips.
The game consists of punching once the person next to you,as hard as you can when you see a volks wagon beetle.But you have to say,"punch buggy no returns".This game lasted about twenty minutes before it had to be called off.
The reason being is that seroiusly i think every third car on the road is a beetle.I cant beleive it,the taxis are beetles also and everywhere you look its beeetle-mania.
I dont know if they have all come from the states back in the day or mexicans are just obsessed with the v-dub.But what i can undrestand is that vw must be a very rich company due to the release of the beetle and the parts that come through here must be a very profitable trade.
It also proves that they are just a great well made car as they are all still going great guns so many years after they were made.
Come to mexico and drive a beetle today

BRUSH WITH GUNS

So the military here gaurds the coastal highways and runs the roads.Apparently 15 years ago the colombians came into mexico and shot all the drug pirates and other dodgy doods who were running the coke trade through mex into the states.These were the days when it was not safe to travel in these parts.So the colombians did the whacking and the military then took over the coast and in turn running the good stuff.And of course it makes sense for the guys with guns and power to do so to operate the drug trade.I dont know how true this is as i was told by a gringo-yank but its seems to be right.
So up north of mex at the beggining of our trip the checkpoints were cool and we would get waved through with half smiles.But on somewhere on the way to puerto escondido things got a little dodgy and the checkpoints have changed.i mean its the same in the way that there are lots of guys standing around with big fuck off machine guns and enough weaponary to kill 1000 peolpe per minute,but its changed in the way that now we are the prime target for their searches.
All the are after is some evidance of illegal goings on so they can bribe us for their party money.
So on sunday we got stopped at our first checkpoint.10 personel converged on our car and asked us to step out for a search.Everything was pretty chilled until i remembered i had a fair amount of pot in my daypack and when i saw the guard grab my bag i thought things could get a little interesting.But with me in his ear trying to talk bad spanish i put him off and he went straight past it.Soon we were on our way but only after we stressed that we are australians just in mexico to surf.without the boards it may have been different.Australiano no problemo,off you go guys.It was a bit of a luagh after we left as brockie was just waiting for them to find it and went rather quite,but all was well.It was then i decicded i would get rid of all of it and save ourselves the trouble.
The next day after camping out on a beach we hit the road again heading south.I had forgot to rid the car of the stuff but thought nothing more of it.Thats until we hit another checkpoint.Two in two days and counting.These guys were way more thorough and now i was a little nervous.They took all bags out ,checked borad covers,laughed when they found condoms but really gave us a going over.All the time while being pretty friendly.The doo grabbed my daypack and again went straight past it.I couldnt beleive these dumb shits were allowed to carry such guns.We were all good again,so this time i asked for a photo.They wouldnt put the guns in but a tried really hard,dont you worry.Anyway got a photo and left feeling very lucky with all my money still in my wallet.
Now im in puerto escondido and im going back to my car to get rid of my pot cos this story just reminded me its still there.

ONE 4 THE SURFERS

need i say anything,but warm water,7 days straight of swell and no job.
Two different breaks,the first three are of Rio Nexpa,
The last two are a place called La Ticla

ATTACK OF THE FLYING FISH

funny stuff.i was paddeling out behind this canadian guy the other day and i saw a flying fish jump out of the water.These little buggers are strange looking things and if they were any bigger they would be like the scariest monster of all.Anyway this fish jumps then flys straight toward this guy.Im thinking "its gonna attack him" although they dont attack at all.Then it lands on his back with a bit of a rough tuchdown and the poor dood thought he was about to die.He screamed like a little boy and jumped of his board so scared and not knowing what it was on his back.Meanwhile im behind him in complete laughter.Pretty lethal fish i say and the poor bugger felt a little silly.I told him the story i heard of a friend.He was in indo surfing and a flying fish collided with a surfer paddeling out.It went straight into his eye and the barb-nose thing got stuck.A horrific image has allways plagued me of that poor man trying to get to a doctors with a scary little fish hanging out of his head.
Also in the water were turtles in the lineup.They were quite peaceful.The water was tropical glass and turtles would just pop their heads up,say hi in the local turle dialect (which is easier to understand than the locals) and be on their merry way.And to top it off there were hundreds of hand sized crabs spawning everywhere.They would hit your arms and legs while paddeling and i was constanly waiting for one to latch on to me but thankfully that didnt happen.
So the water is pretty alive here but with no big sharks which is great.I have read that some of the surf spots south of here have alligators,sea snakes and bloody boa-constrictors.Now that would make for an interesting blog entry

TIUJANA;MAZATLAN;CAR

tijuana take me away.Went for the old one beer and ended up having a huge one.The best was the fat senor with a whistle who pours copiuos amonts of tequila down your thrat for a whole two dollars.(pearcey you would love it here,$1.30 for quality beers)First he puts a towel around your neck,blows a loud shitty whistle so everyone looks at you then pours it straight down and you just gotta cop it.Especially when someone buys it for you purely for been australian.The shit was so good it made my mouth go numb.Left the pub after making a couple of yankee friends and indulged in my first mexican burrito at 1am.The puppy weighed about 20 kilos but took a good two minutes to eat.
So i awoke with of course a massive hangover that lasted all day but at least i didnt get shot at or stabbed which is what i thought it may be like.
Flew out of tijuana over the baja coast to mainland mexico,a place called mazatlan is where i hope to get a car.
Feeling shite as got a room and hit the streets,met some hilairious freaks and got hit up for weed,and mexican pussy straight away.Being the classy kinda guy i am i refused sternly and kept on my merry way.
The next day was car hunting day.Dont know what day it is cos ive allready lost them,feels great.It was kinda hard as there seems to generally be no laws and no rules in mexico(my kinda place).Not speaking good spanish yet also didnt help.Plus not having a mexican address i found i couldnt register a car but.
After a whole day of sweat,heat,dodgy dealers and smog filled lungs we found a deal.These gys were classic,selling all sorts of gear from a downtown park.The car is big and blue,driven,brought or stolen from the states.We have a special pass that gives thirty days to drive it.This pass i dont think is even legal as it is photcopied.On top of that the receipt is in handwriting form god knows who,i dont think he exists.Soooo,could be a very interestig drive through mex.

UNITED STATES OF CONCERN

Arrived on tuesday and realised i surely are not cut out for flying.The cabin was so hot which led to dehydration after an hour.On top of that i brought with me a lovely australian flu.On top of that again i took 5 sleeping tablets but being the hopeless sleeper i am i still could'nt sleep.All those factors and i felt like and looked like shit on arrival to the states.
Ok,from there( L.A) we hire a chevy 8 seater and drive more hours through the desert to vagas.The drive reminded me of the rages in central australia.Only these were much bigger and not red.
Vegas sucked.The lights and the whole idea was cool and crazy but everything was exspensive and the way i felt made me fell over it rather quickly.After a few beers and cruising the strip i felt like a little country boy in the big city that talked kinda funny.
Outta there and heading back to L.A i had some feral grease with a little food and sugar on top.There is no wonder amerocans are all fat shits.The food is unbeleivibly bad and they love the couch and tv.
We cruised beverly hills and hollywood via sunset strip.That was just the smallest bit more normal thatn vegas.Then hit venice beach,home to the doors and baywatch.It was a reasonably chilly night so there were'nt all the freaks out i expected.Got blind on the lifesaving towers and crashed in "ye ol chev".
Next day went south to orange county(you girls might know it from that trashy show) and stayed with some friends.They explained that no one in the states walks barefoot,but only the white trash have no shoes.Now this explained all the seedy looks i had got in previous days.
I had two allright surfs in huntington and went to an improvisation show.It was like an old peoples mental asylum.I had to get up on stage and act out a little play,i think i kinda sucked with my dry outback accent.
Now today i have arrived where it all begins,Mexico.I crossed the border and am staying in downtown tijuana.The street is absolutely jumping,music,people and action everywhere.I am the only blue eyed white trash on the street and that feels strange but exciting.Number one targets i think.
Im happy to be out of the states as it is expensive and the people talk funny and eat bad food.Ha Ha,go you aussie